The Grumpiest Boy in the World by Finegan Kruckemeyer

Author:Finegan Kruckemeyer [Kruckemeyer, Finegan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Currency Press Pty Ltd

ZACHARY: What a land of odd bods—this is perfect.

HIRSUTE: And on our seventh birthday, we get special socks to tuck the end of our hair in, because it finally reaches the ground. I just got mine—I turned seven in January.

ZACHARY: Oh, right—so did I. Anyway, I must seem like the strangest/

HIRSUTE: /What date?

ZACHARY: Huh?

HIRSUTE: What date did you turn seven on?

ZACHARY: January sixteenth. So, anyway, check out this crazy Briddling guy and his/

HIRSUTE: /We’ve got the same birthday!

ZACHARY: Oh, come on …

HIRSUTE: You and me were born on exactly the same day—like twins!

ZACHARY: What?! Except we’re not twins. We’re probably the most un-twinnish couple that ever existed—I mean, look at you! You are a wonderful hairy-bodied hair person—and I have this little short hair and then the rest of me is just—skin. I must bewilder you!

HIRSUTE: Exactly the same day!

ZACHARY: I’m bewildering! Be bewildered!

HIRSUTE: Did you by any chance have a cake on your birthday?

ZACHARY: Yes, but/

HIRSUTE: /So did I! What a coincidence!

ZACHARY: No it’s not! Birthday cake on your birthday is normal—you can’t say we have that in common!

HIRSUTE: Did you get … presents?

ZACHARY: What?! Everyone gets presen/

HIRSUTE: /So did I! I got birthday presents too!

ZACHARY: I don’t care! I’m trying to tell you how not-middling I am! Look at me!

HIRSUTE: We should have a combined birthday party next year! Oh—will you be turning eight next year too?!

ZACHARY: [storming off] I am not having this conversation!

HIRSUTE: We could even dress up! I might go as Spiderman!

ZACHARY: Leave me alone!

ZACHARY exits.

HIRSUTE: Spiderman … or an astronaut. Yeah!

ZACHARY: [offstage] Aaah!

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